It’s been a good day. Despite the gloomy weather and the threatening gray clouds hanging low in the sky, I have had a good day. And now sitting here mentally preparing for finals week ahead, I had a mini revelatory moment, one of those times when a series of past moments culminates into a beautiful realization. So even though it’s nearing midnight, my mind is awake, and I must write.
Colony House is one of my favorite bands. After hearing them open for Ben Rector in August, I was hooked. I streamed their music constantly on Spotify, looping their albums over and over again. I immediately preordered their newest album, Only the Lonely. Since it was a preorder, songs from the album have gradually been released and added to my music library over the course of the past few months. Today, I was ecstatic to find that Colony House’s newest song “This Beautiful Life” was released. I dropped everything, gave the song my fullest attention, and listened. It was a beautiful song. The opening words spoke to me right away:
“What in the world are we doing here? What is the meaning of it all?”
And then later in the song:
“Maybe I’m a part of something that’s bigger than me, like I’m a page in a book in a library.”
These lyrics brought me back to the very beginning of my college experience. As an incoming freshman, I didn’t know what to expect out of college, but if anything, I expected that since there were going to be upwards of a thousand new students joining me in the start of this new experience, that making friends would be easy. And it was. I made a few close friends pretty quickly…the thing was, they were all music majors. Don’t get me wrong – I love my music friends, and I am a music minor myself after all. But I came into college as a Biology major, and while I started college with many acquaintances in the science department, I could not truly call them my friends. The same went for the Honors college; I knew everyone, but none of my relationships held any substance. Needless to say, I quickly felt out of place. I felt like no matter where I was, I didn’t fit in. Sooner or later, I began doubting my choices. I questioned my choice of friend groups and eventually even my choice in my university.
This inward tension surfaced during a Bible study I was a member of. This study was composed of a Commercial Voice major, three or four Musical Theare majors, and a Commercial Percussion major, so they wouldn’t understand, but I threw the question out to them anyway. “What the heck am I doing here?” I asked. I was distraught, lost, and confused. “We’ll pray for you,” they said. And I am confident that they did, but I never heard an answer from God.
My purpose on this Earth was something I struggled to discover, and it still is today. Even now, I have no idea what I was put on this Earth to do career-wise. It’s tough attending a university where students are predominantly music majors. I imagine a lot of them have been dreaming of making it big in the music industry ever since they were little kids, and now they’re at one of the greatest schools in the industry to pursue what they love.
I admire that so much. To have that drive and dedication, to be able to pour your heart into your dream. Where can I find that? And until then, what am I supposed to do with myself? It wasn’t until earlier this month that I was reminded of my purpose. On November 4th, we had our annual Presidential Scholars reception. I got to eat scones and drink coffee with my fellow scholars as well as some significant people at Belmont: my mentor Dr. Paula Gill who is the VP of Institutional Effectiveness, our Provost, and even President Dr. Fisher himself, among others. We all chatted for awhile until it was time for a speech given by one of these significant people (and of course, I can’t remember his name…) The speaker talked to us about many things, but the one topic he discussed that resonated with me was our purpose. I can still hear him loud and clear when he said,
We have been blessed so we can bless others.
The speaker’s words hit home for me. I realized then that I was placed at Belmont intentionally, I was chosen, and I was blessed with more than I could ever need so that every day, I can go out and bless others. This doesn’t just apply to me; each and every person was placed in the setting and circumstance they are in by God because that is where they are best equipped to bless others.
So what in the world am I doing here? What is the meaning of it all? From my lost freshman self to the Presidential Scholars reception to me today jamming out to Colony House, I have learned that we have been placed where we are to bless others. It doesn’t matter if it’s through the seemingly mundane, everyday tasks like holding the door open for the person behind you or through pursuing your passions and dreams by making it big in the music industry. In blessing others with God’s hope and love, we are pursuing a cause dealing with eternity and fulfilling our most important purpose.
I’m definitely a part of something that’s bigger than me, like a page in a book in a library.
“And inside my heart there’s a dying part that’s always searching, ’cause I know that there’s a place where I belong.”
Listen to “This Beautiful Life” here: